When I was younger, my mother would always tell me that the older I get the less friends I would have. I was 10 years old at the time and didn't quite understand that. I am what you call a social butterfly (so I've been told haha) and I love the concept of friendship...it means a lot to me. Since I was 10, I've always ran in packs lmao. I was always apart of clicks, crews, the girls etc...and even at some point in my life, I felt my friends were my world...and then I graduated high school haha. But when you're younger there are a lot more people with the your common denominator and as you get older, that common denominator gets smaller and smaller until one day you're like WTF haha.
Once we hit our 20s, in my eyes, there two types of friendships...the nurturing and the non-nurturing. The nurturing are the ones that we talk to almost everyday and rely on their opinions, suggestions and so forth. The non-nurturing ones are the ones we can go months without talking to and as soon as we see them, you pick up where you left off. Now the non-nurturing ones are the ones that usually out last the nurturers. Ok so once you're in your late 20s, the common denominator starts getting smaller as each one of your friends get pregnant, married, career oriented, etc. The pack goes from maybe say 10 to 9 to 5 and so forth. They have evolved into the non-nurturers.
So now in our 30s we're down to a few friends....at this point we're fully grown and we really get to know each other on a more mature adult level. That's when you realize everyones true colors and that maybe a couple of them aren't who you thought they were. You start distancing yourself and come to some sort of decision as to keep them as a non-nurturing friend or just to get rid of them all together.
Now all while this is going on, you meet new friends here and there...at work, school, bar etc. Do you ever notice that maybe those are the ones we keep in the wings. The "just in case" or the "maybe if I wasn't so close to _____" Because now at this point you're down to one nurturing friend...but no one ever thinks about what happens when THAT common denominator expires or runs out (and I'm not trying to sound mean) but it's true. Is that when the new friends come in? Does that mean the cycle starts all over again? Or is this the time we find ourselves and focus on personal goals and new projects?
Interesting concept. Over the years I've dropped a lot of folks. I think at this point I have the people in my life that will be here for the long haul. Anyone new, would be an associate or what you call a non-nurturing friend. It's certainly not mean to call it what it is, we ourselves are someone(s) non-nurturer. With age comes insight and wisdom but to gain that, we must spend time with and by ourselves to grow. It's neither good or bad, it simply just is.
ReplyDelete